She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize