im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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