We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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