Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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