i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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