a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
