Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize