she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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