he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
