i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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