I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
