It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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