Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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