Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
MIDGETS
????
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
