I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and i looked up. we had an audience...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Someone came in the potted fern
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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