I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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