Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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