last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
