Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
