You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
