just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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