Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if only i could text you this smell
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
