I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
