I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
