so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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