The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize