Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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