Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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