We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
