The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i dont even know how to be here
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
