the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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