Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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