: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
