I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
