Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
