puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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