have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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