So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
