We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
do nipples grow back?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
