twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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