I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
