so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
As shirtless as possible
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
