He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
