I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
