Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
