A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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