Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
