Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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