Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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