I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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