Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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