i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Alive.
So much puke
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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