he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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