Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
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you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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