I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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