Do you still have your period?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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