a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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