so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
