Cold hands, warm shart.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
