plz talk dirty to me
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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