I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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